Shirley Turtle is the head secretary for the church. She was Dave's wife for 36 years, she isnt looking any younger, but no doubt someone would love to meat her. Now addicted to heroin

Diana Patton is a prostitute and another long-time member of our staff. She is in charge of all the financial duties for the church, including paying the bills, collections, fund raising, and community service. Dana enjoys reading in her spare time, and counting the cash she has stolen from us, there are several internet sex tapes available, but of course we do not condone such behaviour in our church(except after 7pm)

David Turtle is Dead, he was killed in a hit'n'run incident whilst shopping for Christmas presents. Dave was married and has two wonderful daughters. They will all be sold on eBay